You smell like a Billy Joel song
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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