he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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