I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize