I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize