Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
