I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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