I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
