I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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