are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
