I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
