He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize