just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
