Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
