Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
