I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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