My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
