your thong is hanging out like whoa
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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