I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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