This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
