I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
