dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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