Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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