wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
