A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize