This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ate ashes out of my bong
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
