Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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