my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
