wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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