i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
two words: eviction party
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
