is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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