On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
