did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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