sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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