i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
