Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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