I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
