You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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