remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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