someone threw a dead crab at me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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