just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
