My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
