I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
