return my video game
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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