id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
