i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
