Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
