what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
