So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
