I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
