im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
