god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
