and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
