there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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