I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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