i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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