i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
