pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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