Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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