we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
