she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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