we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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