i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
