my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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