Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
