Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
