i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
